


Drowning

by adiwriting



Series: Hearing Verse [41]
Category: Glee
Genre: Deaf Blaine, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 17:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3455708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiwriting/pseuds/adiwriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stop, Sebastian signs. You are always enough. You are enough for your friends, you're enough for your children, and you're more than enough for your husband. </p><p>Sometimes Blaine just needs to be reminded of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning

Blaine is crowded around the tiny table in the hotel room, trying to help Mei with the writing workbook that her teachers have sent home with her in an effort to fix the fact that her English skills are basically non-existent. While they’ve spent years working heavily on developing her language and her sign skills have come a long way, apparently she can’t even write her own last name without a lot of help from her teachers. At least, this was the biggest complaint Blaine heard from her IEP team when he went in for a conference a few days ago.

THIS IS STUPID, Mei signs, throwing her pencil down on the floor, causing the tip to break off, which is just perfect. It’s the only pencil they had left and he’s completely forgotten to pack a sharpener.

IT’S NOT STUPID, Blaine signs. YOU’RE JUST FRUSTRATED BECAUSE IT’S HARD.

I DON’T NEED ENGLISH, she argues with him. WHY CAN’T I JUST SIGN EVERYTHING.

BECAUSE THE ENTIRE WORLD IS NOT IN ASL, Blaine explains carefully, trying to tread carefully. He knows when Mei is pushed too hard, she shuts down. SENDING TEXTS, READING BOOKS, CAPTIONS ON THE TV… THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY YOU NEED TO KNOW ENGLISH EVEN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO SPEAK IT ORALLY.

WELL I CAN’T, Mei signs. I’M STUPID. I CAN’T LEARN IT.

Mei slides out of her seat and moves to leave, but Blaine grabs her arm before she can.

LOOK AT ME, YOU ARE NOT STUPID, he signs. YOU ARE SMART. YOU ARE WONDERFUL. ENGLISH ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.

YOU KNOW IT, she argues.

YES, BECAUSE GRANDMA PRACTICED WITH ME EVERYDAY, he explains. I KNOW IT’S HARD. IT’S OKAY TO GET FRUSTRATED. IT’S NOT OKAY TO GIVE UP AND IT’S NEVER OKAY TO CALL YOURSELF STUPID. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NOT UNDERSTANDING ENGLISH DOESN’T MAKE YOU STUPID.

WAS IT HARD FOR YOU? Mei asks.

REALLY HARD. IT’S STILL HARD SOMETIMES, Blaine signs. Mei nods her head, but doesn’t move to pick up the pencil she’d dropped or sit back down. CAN YOU PUT THIS AWAY AND WE WILL FINISH IT TONIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED.

CAN WE DO IT WHEN WE GET BACK HOME? Mei asks, smiling at him hopefully.

Blaine shakes his head. IF YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU TO DISNEY TOMORROW, YOU NEED TO FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK. YOU KNOW THAT.

FINE, Mei grumbles, but does as he asked and puts her things back into her backpack.

Blaine glances at the clock and knows they have at least another hour before Li is up from her nap. Maddy technically should be sleeping right now, too, but she’s currently sitting in the corner crying, like she’s been for the last half an hour. She’d thrown a huge fit when he’d told the girls it was time to come in from the pool, and, in typical Maddy fashion, she refuses to tell any of them what is wrong. She’d marched herself dramatically right over to the corner and has been sitting there ever since in her self-induced time out.

Blaine knows that the best thing he can do is continue to ignore her until she decides to tell him what’s wrong, but he always feels hurt that she doesn’t want anything to do with him when she gets into these moods. It always makes him wonder if he’s good enough, or if she wishes Kurt were here instead of him.

CAN I WATCH A MOVIE? Mei asks him, holding up the iPad that the girls all share. He nods and watches as she climbs up the ladder to the top bunk and makes herself comfortable. Blaine pulls out his laptop, hoping to get some work done while the girls currently don’t need his attention. He’s got to make some posts about his upcoming appearance in a few hours. The entire reason they are even in Orlando this week is for the Deaf Expo gig and to film a special episode of Deaf in the City.

He’s just finishing up a post to Tumblr when the first text from Kurt comes in.

‘I can’t believe you took them to Florida without me.’

‘I thought this argument was over. Dani and Santana are in Maui for their anniversary and Rachel is in a show 6 nights a week. Yes, I took the girls with you,’ Blaine responds.

He’s too tired for this and wishes that Kurt would just let it go instead of continuing to pick a fight with him. He gets that Kurt’s upset that he’s not going to be there to take the girls to Disney World for the first time, but Blaine’s not sure what he’s supposed to do about that. He couldn’t leave the girls at home, and even if he could have, he didn’t want to. If they waited to do anything until Kurt could be with them, they would never go anywhere. Blaine’s read the baby books. Having new experiences is essential to the girls development. It’s essential to their language growth, something that Mei and Li constantly need help with.

He’s not going to feel bad for this. He is in Florida to work, and if he wants to bring the girls to make it a mini-vacation as well — well like he said, he isn’t going to feel bad. Not when he’s been stressed out trying to raise the girls virtually by himself.

‘Are you really that selfish?’ Kurt’s next text reads.

Blaine feels like he’s been stabbed in the heart with a shard of ice. The past several weeks, he’s been feeling himself slip farther and farther away as parenthood consumes his life. He’s been drowning in worry over the girls, guilt that he’s not good enough for them, and loneliness at having to do it all on his own apart from the nightly VP call that Kurt makes to tell the girls good night. Kurt’s not here for the tears that are sometimes non-stop in a house full of three kids. Kurt doesn’t have to sit in on IEP meetings where he’s told Mei is failing and he needs to do more at home. Kurt doesn’t have to listen to the doctor say that Li is still underweight, or listen to the doctor try to reassure him that it’s normal for his two year old to not be walking, given the circumstances. The circumstances being that his daughter had spent the first year of her life being neglected because nobody cared about her, and no amount of love from Blaine seems to be able to erase that.

Kurt doesn’t get to call him selfish. Not when Blaine’s spent the last eleven years of their relationship putting a smile on his face and acting like Kurt being away from home for work doesn’t kill him. That he doesn’t get incredibly lonely when his husband isn’t there at night to hold him when he has a bad day and reassure him that he’s doing a good job. If Blaine were selfish, he would have dropped the girls on Kurt’s doorstep and gone to Florida alone. He certainly could use the vacation. He’s not. All he’d wanted to do was give the girls a happy memory. He’d wanted them to have a reason to smile when cry about missing their papa at night. How dare Kurt, of all people, call him selfish.

‘You built your bed, you can lie in it,’ he types out.

‘It’s you’ve made your bed*’ Kurt corrects him and Blaine has to stop himself from throwing the phone at the wall. He absolutely hates it when Kurt corrects his English, and Kurt knows it.

‘I’m sorry if we all didn’t grow up hearing English natively. It’s not as if you never make a mistake in ASL,’ he types back and quickly adds, ‘I guess I’m the reason Mei can’t read or write.’

Blaine sits there quietly seething while the three little dots taunt him. He waits for Kurt’s response, knowing that he’s asking for trouble by engaging Kurt when he’s like this, but he can’t help it. Then, the three dots disappear and Kurt’s response never comes through. Whatever he’d been thinking about writing, he’d changed his mind.

Typical, Blaine thinks bitterly. It’s just like Kurt to start an argument then run away from it before it can be resolved. Blaine is debating if he should send anything else or just let it go, when Maddy finally stands up and walks over to him.

“I want —“ she starts to say but then she moves to wipe the tears off her face and her hands block whatever else she says.

YOU WANT WHAT? he signs.

“I want —“ she’s mumbling and he can’t understand her. Usually he’s pretty good at getting what she’s saying, but today he hasn’t been able to catch a lot, mostly because he’s so exhausted.

CAN YOU SIGN IT? he asks. DADDY IS HAVING A HARD TIME UNDERSTANDING YOU.

Maddy rolls her eyes at him and sighs, as if ASL is a huge inconvenience to her. He’s going to have to nip this problem in the bud really soon. Ever since she realized the difference between ASL and English and stopped using them interchangeably, she’s started using English as a punishment. She can’t refuse to sign whenever she gets angry. Not when there are three people in the house who rely heavily on it.

I WANT TO GO SWIMMING, she signs.

WE CAN’T GO SWIMMING RIGHT NOW, he signs. IT’S NAP TIME AND THEN CARTER IS GOING TO TAKE YOU GUYS TO DINNER WHILE UNCLE SEBASTIAN AND I WORK.

“I don’t — to — dinner!” she cries.

TALK TO ME, he signs. TELL ME WHAT’S REALLY WRONG.

“I don’t —“ Maddy turns her head as she explains whatever is bothering her, and whenever he moves to see her face, she turns the opposite way. He does his best not to sigh in frustration, knowing that she can hear him.

STOP, Blaine signs, forcing her to look at him. LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU TALK. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU IF YOU TURN AWAY. NOW WHAT’S WRONG?

If looks could kill, the look Maddy sends him would have him six feet under. “I want Papa!” she yells, slamming her little foot down as she does. It’s a good thing that Li is deaf, otherwise she’d most certainly have woken up. “He understand me when I say.”

Blaine knows she doesn’t mean it. She’s tired and upset and he’s the closest target. Still, after everything else, it’s the final straw. He can’t handle her temper tantrums when he’s already dealing with Kurt’s.

YOU NEED A NAP, he signs, but Maddy crosses her arms and closes her eyes defiantly. He puts his hand on her shoulder trying to get her to look at him so that he can finish talking to her, but she won’t.

“Open your eyes,” he says, the sound of his voice shocking her enough to look at him.

GO TO BED, NOW, he signs.

I DON’T LIKE YOU, she signs back, sticking her tongue out at him, but she marches over to the bed she’s sharing with Li and climbs in. He doesn’t have the energy to tell her off for being disrespectful. He’s just happy that she’s in bed and her tirade seems to be over for now. He knows when she wakes up again, she’ll be back to being his sweet little angel. He knows this… but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Blaine glares down at his phone and angrily types out, ‘You should be here with your family. It’s your fault that you’re not here.’

‘Please, you love being a stay at home dad and doing everything yourself. You love that the girls are with you every day while I’m out in LA and barely get to see them.’

‘You know that’s not true,’ he types back, feeling himself start to get worked up. There’s a lump in his throat and a tightness in his belly that he can’t make go away.

‘Even if that were true, your daughter wants you, not me,’ he adds.

‘Who?’ Kurt asks.

‘All of them, probably,’ he types back.

‘Talk to me.’

Blaine wants to laugh. Not even five minutes ago his husband was calling him selfish, and now he wants to act like he cares? It’s a joke.

‘I wouldn’t want to be selfish and waste your time with our silly problems. I’m probably just being an attention whore, right?’ he types back.

The phone starts ringing with an incoming FaceTime call from Kurt but Blaine presses ignore and quickly turns off his phone. He can’t look at Kurt right now. Not when he’s feeling like a complete failure. He tosses the phone to the bed so it’s out of reach and he won’t be tempted to send any more hateful messages Kurt’s way while he’s still so worked up. Then, he buries his face in his hands and tries to force himself to breathe.

Things haven’t been this bad between the two of them since before they got Mei and he doesn’t have the faintest idea of how to fix it. It seems like every time they talk, it turns into an argument. Blaine just wants to stop feeling so alone in this all of the time, but anytime he starts to tell Kurt about all the stress he’s under, he stops. Kurt’s life is crazy with all the projects he’s working on. He’s out there in LA all alone without his family to help him through and every person he’s met in that town is incredibly fake. Blaine knows how much Kurt wishes he was at home, and he knows if he tells Kurt how much he’s drowning on his own, that it will only make Kurt feel worse. Blaine has to make it seem like he’s got it all together. The only thing that keeps Kurt sane half of the time is that Blaine’s got a handle on the girls and Kurt doesn’t have to worry about them.

Blaine’s pretty sure that trying to protect Kurt from feeling guilty over being away, is half of their problem. Blaine’s angry that Kurt can’t be there and he doesn’t feel like he can cry to him, which puts him on edge. Then there’s Kurt, who has always picked fights when he’s feeling vulnerable. It’s an ugly combination that is ruining their marriage.

He feels little arms wrap around his stomach and when he lowers his hands to look down, he sees Mei looking up at him with sad eyes.

MADDY DIDN’T MEAN IT, Mei signs. DON’T BE SAD. MADDY LOVES YOU.

I KNOW SHE DOES, he signs.

Mei climbs into his lap and lays her head on his shoulder.

I’M SORRY I DIDN’T DO MY HOMEWORK, she signs. I’LL BE BETTER.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BETTER, he signs. I’M NOT UPSET BECAUSE OF ANYTHING YOU DID.

Mei nods and then lifts her hands up to carefully wipe the tears off of his face. He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying.

THEN IT’S PAPA THAT MADE YOU SAD? Mei asks.

Blaine studies her face, trying to figure out what it is that she’s seen and how he’s supposed to reassure her that he’s okay. Children aren’t supposed to comfort their parents.

PLEASE DON’T GET A DIVORCE, she asks and the very thought causes him to panic.

They might be fighting right now, but they would never get a divorce. They would never break up just because things were a little hard right now. Blaine would never… Kurt would never… would he?

WATCH YOUR SISTERS FOR A MINUTE, he signs and quickly sets Mei down on the floor. He grabs his phone and powers it on as he walks toward the door. He steps out into the hall and keeps one foot on the door so that he can keep an eye on the girls. Then he sends Sebastian a text.

‘Open your door.’

He’s three seconds away from a nervous breakdown, as Mei asking him about a divorce keeps flashing through his mind over and over. He knows it’s crazy to even think that they would break up, but he’s sure most divorced couples probably thought the same thing at some point. He feels like his heart is going to pound out of his chest if he doesn’t talk to Kurt immediately and not over text. He needs to see him face to face, and he can’t do that with his daughters watching on.

The door opens and Sebastian looks confused before his eyes land on Blaine.

Blaine doesn’t haven’t to explain anything, Sebastian can see it written all over his face.

I’LL WATCH THE GIRLS, Sebastian signs. GO. TAKE AS LONG AS YOU NEED.

Blaine makes his way down the hall, needing to find a quiet spot where nobody will walk past and see what a hot mess he is right now. He takes the door to the stairway and prays nobody feels like using the stairs over the elevator, today. Then, he calls Kurt.

Each time, the phone rings for several seconds before the call is disconnected, but Blaine keeps trying. Finally, after the fifth try, Kurt’s assistant picks up the phone and starts talking to him, only Blaine can’t understand him. The camera flips around so that he can see Kurt filming a scene then flips back to the assistant who mimes the phone hanging up before the call is ended.

Blaine groans in frustration. He really needs to talk to his husband, but he knows that unless somebody is in the hospital, Kurt can’t get interrupted when he’s filming.

‘Call me as soon as you get this!’ he texts him. ‘And teach your assistant some ASL, it’s embarrassing.’

Blaine lets himself collapse to the floor and start to cry. He’s been keeping his emotions bottled up for too long and the result is that he’s a mess. He hasn’t felt this horrible about himself since they lost baby Grayson and he couldn’t go a single day without at least one breakdown. He feels like he’s letting everyone down. He’s a horrible husband to Kurt. He’s a terrible father for the girls. Maybe people were right to tell him that he shouldn’t be allowed to raise kids. Look at what had happened with Maddy today. How many times had she tried to talk to him and he’d been too tired to read her lips properly. How often does he misunderstand what she’s saying to him when she decides to talk instead of sign? He has no idea. Maybe they would all be better off with hearing parents? Maybe then Mei wouldn’t be so far behind in her English? Maybe he’s misunderstanding the doctor’s instructions and that’s why Li’s not getting better faster?

Everything bad that’s happening feels like it’s his fault and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

The door opens and he moves to quickly wipe his tears away, praying it’s not a fan, but it’s only Sebastian.

YOU’RE A MESS, he signs, sitting down beside Blaine.

WHO’S— He’s about to ask about the girls, but Sebastian cuts him off.

CARTER IS WITH THEM, Sebastian signs. WE HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE WE HAVE TO HEAD OUT FOR OUR APPEARANCE. TALK TO ME.

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING YOU DO IS WRONG? he asks.

I CAN’T IMAGINE ANYTHING THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO WRONG, Sebastian signs. YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON I KNOW… DON’T TELL CARTER I SAID THAT.

Blaine has to smile at that. Sebastian always has a way of making him feel better. He might be a smart ass 95% of the time, but when Blaine’s really upset, Sebastian always knows exactly what to say — he has ever since they were little kids.

MEI ASKED ME IF KURT AND I WERE GOING TO GET A DIVORCE, Blaine signs.

KIDS ARE PERCEPTIVE, he responds. WHY DID SHE THINK THAT?

WE’VE BEEN ARGUING A LOT LATELY. WITH THE WAY HIS CAREER IS TAKING OFF, HE’S BARELY EVER HOME ANYMORE, he explains.

He’s told Sebastian some of this in passing, but they haven’t really sat down and discussed anything in detail. Blaine knows that Sebastian is smart enough to have sensed that something was off, but he has no idea if Sebastian knew just how off things really were.

HAVE YOU BROUGHT UP DIVORCE? Sebastian asks, giving him a worried look.

NO! he responds adamantly. I DON’T WANT THAT. I NEVER WANT THAT.

GOOD, Sebastian signs and Blaine knows he really means it. In the early years of Blaine and Kurt dating he wouldn’t have, but he knows he means it now.

BUT…

BUT WHAT? Sebastian asks.

WHAT IF KURT WANTS THAT? he asks. WHAT IF I’M NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM ANYMORE?

It’s the sinking feeling that he’s had for months, even if he hadn’t been able to name it until now. Blaine trusts Kurt. He knows that he would never cheat on him. That doesn’t change the fact that with every day Kurt’s fame gets bigger and the media gets more and more curious about his personal life. Blaine’s not an idiot. He’s seen the articles written about Kurt and how they praise him for having a heart big enough to marry a Deaf man. The things they imply about Blaine are flat out condensing and he’s got enough Deaf pride to know it’s wrong… but it still hurts. There’s still that small part of him that wonders if they are right.

STOP, Sebastian signs. YOU ARE ALWAYS ENOUGH. YOU’RE ENOUGH FOR YOUR FRIENDS, YOU’RE ENOUGH FOR YOUR CHILDREN, AND YOU’RE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR YOUR HUSBAND.

YEAH? he asks, wanting so much to believe him.

YOU GUYS WILL FIGURE THIS OUT, Sebastian signs. EVERY COUPLE HAS THEIR MOMENTS.

YEAH, he signs, knowing that Sebastian is right. He would just feel much better if he could talk to Kurt, or better yet, if he could see him.

I KNOW I’M NOT THE MAN YOU WANT, BUT I’M HERE FOR YOU WHENEVER YOU NEED, Sebastian signs before pulling him in for a much needed hug.

The hug lingers, but not in a sexual way. It’s in the way that a friend always does when they know you’re feeling down. In the way Sebastian’s done for him since they were little kids. Sebastian’s always looked out for him, despite being younger and Blaine’s never quite sure he returns he favor because Sebastian’s not likely to let anyone know when he’s feeling upset. He’s just glad that friends don’t keep score and that Sebastian’s stuck by him through all these years.

THANK YOU, he signs when they pull away.

OF COURSE, Sebastian signs, helping him to his feet. JUST DON’T TELL THE FANGIRLS ABOUT THIS. THEY’RE HAVING A HARD ENOUGH TIME ACCEPTING CARTER WITHOUT KNOWING THE TWO OF US SNEAK AWAY TO ABANDONED STAIRWELLS.

I’M PRETTY SURE THIS IS THE PLOT OF THAT ONE FANFIC. He laughs.

OH GOD, THE ONE THAT THEY ALL SEND US, Sebastian signs. ARE YOU ADMITTING TO READING IT?

Blaine blushes, which only causes Sebastian to laugh harder.

OH MY GOD YOU HAVE READ IT! he signs.

I ONLY READ THE FIRST CHAPTER, Blaine admits. AFTER THEY SENT IT TO ME THE MILLIONTH TIME, I GOT CURIOUS.

I’M NEVER LETTING YOU LIVE THIS DOWN, he continues to rib him.

IT WAS ONE OF THE NIGHTS I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL WITH LI, he tries to defend himself, but Sebastian won’t stop laughing. OH SHUT UP! he finally signs.

WAS IT AS GOOD AS THE FANGIRLS ALL MAKE IT OUT TO BE? Sebastian asks, standing guard at the door as Blaine uses the camera on his phone to try and clean himself up a bit so he doesn’t look like he just had a breakdown.

WELL I ONLY GOT THROUGH THE FIRST CHAPTER, SO THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING, he signs.

Blaine throws his arms out to ask, how do I look? and Sebastian nods to let him know that he’s good. Then, they both head back towards their rooms to pick up their stuff. Blaine tries to leave Carter with some money for the girls, but he refuses to accept any of it, claiming that he considers the girls family. It’s sweet, and tells Blaine far more about their relationship status than Sebastian ever would. He kisses each of the girls goodbye and promises to be back later.

ARE WE SPEAKING AT THIS THING OR IS IT JUST A MEET AND GREET? Blaine asks. DID THEY EVER EMAIL US BACK TO LET US KNOW?

PLEASE, AFTER THIS MANY YEARS, YOU KNOW THEY NEVER REMEMBER TO COMMUNICATE ANYTHING WITH US, Sebastian signs as they get onto the elevator.

WELL NOTHING CAN BE WORSE THAN THE FIRST TIME WHEN WE WERE TOLD WE WERE PERFORMING BEFORE MARLEE MATLIN AND NOBDOY HAD TOLD US, he signs, causing them both to roll their eyes.

AT LEAST BY NOW WE’VE DONE THIS SO MANY TIMES THAT THEY COULD PRETTY MUCH ASK US TO DO ANYTHING AND WE CAN WING IT, Sebastian signs.

OUR ENTIRE CAREERS HAVE BEEN US JUST WORKING ON A WING AND A PRAYER, he laughs.

MOST OF THAT ISN’T OUR FAULT, Sebastian reminds him, playfully.

RIGHT. IT WAS RYAN’S! he signs, referencing one of the old Deaf in the City hosts they used to work with.

IT WAS ALWAYS RYAN’S FAULT, Sebastian signs. DO YOU THINK WE CAN STILL BLAME RYAN WHEN THINGS GO WRONG?

ALWAYS, he laughs as they climb into the rental car and head over to the convention center.

They had been offered a hotel connected to the convention center so that they wouldn’t have to drive there, but they had argued for a hotel farther away. They both agreed that a little distance from everyone would be much appreciated. Especially with Carter and the girls accompanying them on the trip. It was safer to stay farther away from where the rest of the Deaf community would be staying. Besides, Sebastian had reminded him that he would be a horrible father if he deprived his children of the opportunity to stay on Disney property. It hadn’t taken much convincing for Blaine to book rooms at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and the girls’ faces when they saw the animals out the window had made the headache of figuring it all out well worth it. 

When they arrive at the expo, it’s tough for them to make it through the crowd as they keep getting stopped by various people trying to take pictures and get autographs from them. Blaine watches as a particularly handsy older woman grabs Sebastian’s ass shamelessly in front of everyone.

OKAY, THANK YOU, Blaine signs, pulling Sebastian away from the woman as they finally find a staff member to help them get backstage.

WHAT WAS THAT? Sebastian signs, clearly not sure if he wants to laugh about it or get upset.

IF I HADN’T PULLED YOU AWAY, I THINK SHE WOULD HAVE TRIED FOR MORE, he signs, rolling his eyes.

They may be somewhat used to the attention by now, but it never fails to amaze Blaine at the sheer lack of boundaries some of their fans have. As a whole, most of the people they meet are respectful and truly interesting to talk to, but there seems to always be one crazy in every crowd that ruins it for everyone.

AT LEAST SHE DIDN’T PANTS ME, Sebastian signs.

OKAY, YOU TELL THIS STORY TO EVERYONE, BUT IT WASN’T AS BAD AS YOU MAKE IT SOUND, he signs. SHE TRIED TO PANTS ME BUT MY PANTS WERE TOO TIGHT TO GET OFF.

THE ENTIRE ROOM STILL SAW YOUR ASS, Sebastian signs.

THEY SAW MAYBE HALF OF MY ASS AND IT WAS MY UNDERWEAR COVERED ASS. I’M STILL NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT, BUT IT WAS JUST UNDERWEAR, he signs. It’s a ten year old argument, but one of their more memorable fan experiences so it comes often, usually as a way for them to try and make light of their very awkward celebrity status in the Deaf community and social media scene.

OH GOOD, YOU GUYS ARE HERE, a staff member comes up to them and immediately starts jumping into details without even introducing herself. ONE OF OUR ACTS GOT STUCK IN ATLANTA, SO WE’RE PUTTING YOU BOTH ON STAGE IN 10 MINUTES. SOMEBODY WILL COME AND GET YOU SOON, JUST WAIT HERE.

I GUESS THAT MEANS WE ARE PERFORMING, Blaine signs one the woman walks away.

AND THEY JUST EXPECT US TO COME UP WITH A SONG AT THE DROP OF THE HAT, Sebastian complains, pulling out his iPhone to scroll through his playlists. ANY FAVORITES?

WELL YOU KNOW EVERYONE IS GOING TO WANT TO SEE ‘BAD’, he signs.

SO IT’S BACK TO ALL OF OUR HIGH SCHOOL NUMBERS? Sebastian rolls his eyes. BORING.

WELL THEY ARE CROWD FAVORITES AND AT LEAST WE REMEMBER THEM, he argues. WE CAN DO SOME OF THE ONES WE DID IN COLLEGE AND NEVER FILMED?

OH GOD, CAN WE DO ‘RIPTIDE’? I LOVE THAT ONE. Sebastian signs, pulling up their old playlist from their NYU days. Blaine looks over his shoulder.

WE SHOULD TO ‘TAKE ME TO CHURCH,’ Blaine points out.

YEAH, AND START A BUNCH OF NEW RUMORS ABOUT THE TWO OF US, he laughs. WE’RE TOO GOOD OF ACTORS FOR PEOPLE NOT TO BELIEVE WE’RE SCREWING IF THEY SEE US PERFORM THAT.

AH TAYLOR SWIFT! WE WERE OBSESSED FOR SEVERAL MONTHS THERE, Sebastian laughs as the continue to scroll through the playlist of songs.

YOU DOING BLANK SPACE IS HILARIOUS, Blaine adds.

The woman comes back to grab them, but they tell her they will need a few more minutes to come up with a set list. She gets annoyed with them, but they quickly remind her that they are the ones being thrown into an unrehearsed performance thanks to an error on her end and that quickly shuts her up.

ALRIGHT, NOTHING TOO ROMANTIC, Sebastian signs. I’M TRYING TO GET LAID THIS WEEKEND AND I CAN’T DO THAT IF CARTER GETS TOO JEALOUS.

Blaine rolls his eyes and grabs Sebastian’s phone to program in a new playlist for them to do. He picks four songs and figures that is more than enough considering they weren’t even warned ahead of time that they would need to have anything prepared. Thankfully, the two of them have worked together for so long and they still mess around with music enough in their free time that they can throw something entertaining together at the drop of a hat.

SATISFIED? Blaine asks, showing him the list of songs.

‘UPTOWN FUNK’, ‘RIPTIDE’, ‘SMOOTH CRIMINAL’, AND ‘CENTURIES.’ LOOKS GOOD.

As soon as Blaine steps on stage and the music starts vibrating the floor, any stress he had earlier in the day melts away as the beat becomes him. He absolutely lives for music and the way he can feel it in every part of his body. Sebastian and him work the stage flawlessly. No matter how long it’s been between formal performances for them — and by now it’s been years since they’ve done anything but messed around in the living room — they murder it. The crowd is loving it, which is always a good sign because with the Deaf community, musical performances can sometimes be hit or miss. However, he’s been told that when the two of them perform together, nobody needs to be able to hear the music to enjoy it. Their bodies tell a story and their energy is hypnotizing.

By the time they step off stage and head back for a few minutes to cool down before their meet and greet, Blaine is high off of adrenaline and feeling better than he has in weeks.

WHY DON’T WE DO THAT MORE? Blaine asks.

BECAUSE SOMEBODY STARTED HAVING KIDS AND WANTING TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM OR SOMETHING, Sebastian teases him. ALSO, I MAY BE TO OLD TO DO THAT MORE THAN ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR.

YEAH, I’LL BE FEELING THAT FOR AT LEAST A WEEK, he signs, happily accepting the bottle of water that a staff member hands them.

WELL YOU WERE REALLY WORKING IT OUT THERE, Sebastian teases him. I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T THROW OUT A HIP, GRANDPA.

WOAH, he laughs. I MAY BE USED TO DADDY, BUT I’M NOT READY FOR GRANDPA.

They are lead out into the main floor where there is already a long line of people eager to meet them and get their picture taken. This is the part of their job that Blaine’s never quite gotten used to. He understands the appeal of people watching his videos, reading his blogs, and following him on social media, but he still doesn’t get the appeal of traveling all the way to an Expo just to get a picture with him. He can’t complain though, it helps pay the bills and it’s fun. Well 80% fun, 20% creepy, especially when they get the Seblaine fans that show up and are convinced that they are dating each other and ask them to do things like kiss. Every time they do an appearance together, Blaine’s just waiting for those fans to snap a few pictures of them acting friendly and post them under captions like, ‘obviously dating.’

He wonders what the fans would do if he ever told them that Sebastian and him did almost date once, before Sebastian was caught fooling around with another boy before they could even have their first date. He wonders what they would think of the fact that Sebastian likes his men tall and broad. That Blaine likes his men monogamous. That Blaine would rather have a romantic dinner at home while Sebastian prefers a night on the town. That both of them prefer being on the bottom most of the time. They may work as best friends, but as a couple they would be a disaster.

HEY, CHECK OUT WHAT CARTER JUST SENT ME, Sebastian shows Blaine his phone while they are taking a five minute break.

WHY DIDN’T HE SENT IT TO ME? he asks, taking a hold of the phone to watch the video that had been sent.

HE KNOWS YOU GET DISTRACTED AT EVENTS, Sebastian teases.

Blaine watches the short video of the girls, as they each take their turn telling Blaine that they love him and that he’s the best dad in the world. He plays it a second and third time, as Sebastian watches it over his shoulder. It’s obvious by the looks on the girls faces that they truly love him and weren’t just being forced to say those things by Carter. He bites his lip and sighs, knowing that for as many bad days as he might have with the girls, there’s a thousand more good days.

SEE, I TOLD YOU, Sebastian playfully nudges him. YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR THEM.

Blaine smiles at him gratefully as they get back to work.

It takes them three hours to get through everyone in line, and even then, they heard there were more people that had been turned away after the line had been cut off. However, as much as Blaine wants to stay and meet every fan — and 10 years ago, he would have insisted on it — he has a family at home and he refuses to miss bedtime with the girls.

They are loaded down with gifts for them, toys for the girls, and countless letters, as they get into the car. The gifts and toys will go to charity, the girls don’t want for anything and they couldn’t possibly keep everything that they get. The letters will each get read and responded to over time, some with more detailed letters than others, but each one will be read. 

When they get back to the hotel, Carter has Li in his lap and Mei curled into his side while Maddy reenacts a dramatic scene from Toy Story in ASL, the best that any three year old can.

DADDY! The girls sign when they realize he’s home.

Blaine gives them all a hug and pulls Li into his arms.

WERE THEY GOOD? Blaine asks.

THEY WERE GOOD, Carter signs back, gathering up his things so that he can go back to his own room and get ready for the romantic night Sebastian has planned. It involves a wine tasting and Blaine is incredibly jealous and wishes, not for the first time, that Kurt could be here.

WHAT DID YOU GUYS DO? he asks the girls, who are more than happy to share.

WE ATE AND THEN PEOPLE DANCED WITH FIRE, Mei explains while Maddy dances around beside her, trying to show Blaine what they looked like.

WE ONLY GOT HOME A FEW MINUTES BEFORE YOU, Carter explains. I GOT THEM INTO THEIR PAJAMAS. THEY STILL NEED TO BRUSH THEIR TEETH AND EVERYTHING.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, Blaine tells him, giving him a quick hug and wishing him a good night with Sebastian.

SO YOU HAD FUN? Blaine asks once he’s seen Carter out.

Li nods and signs, MUCH FUN.

Maddy informs him that she wants to be a “fire dancer” when she grows up. While Mei tells him all about the lady who came and signed everything for them so that Carter wouldn’t have to. Blaine knew that Carter had taken the time to call ahead a few weeks ago to find out which shows could be interpreted and which ones would be most enjoyable for little kids to follow along. While Mei is old enough to follow most shows so long as there is an interpreter; and Maddy can hear so she’s never a concern in terms of access; Li still needs a lot of visuals to keep her attention, even if something does have an interpreter. He’s glad that Carter was able to do that for them. He can’t wait to see the pictures and videos that Carter surely took of them. He’ll have to ask for them tomorrow.

Blaine helps them all brush their teeth and tucks the little ones into bed, before moving to help Maddy finish her homework. It takes about an hour, but by the time Mei’s bedtime rolls around, the homework is done and they are both relieved to be done with it for the time being. Blaine helps her into bed and wishes her sweet dreams. Once the girls are asleep, he changes into his own pajamas and gets himself ready for bed before sitting down in front of his computer to get some work done. He’s surprised when he loads his email that there’s a new message from Kurt.

To: BlaineHummelAnderson4513@gmail.com

From: KurtHA4513@gmail.com

Time: 6:42pm

Subject: I love you

I’m sorry. I know that it can’t be easy being at home with the girls while I’m always away. I know that a long distance relationship wasn’t what you had in mind when you started dating me. I know that when you married me, you probably thought that the distance was just temporary as I booked tours and waited for my big break on Broadway so that I could be home every night. You didn’t say, ‘I do’ thinking that I’d live in LA more than half of the year. You didn’t sign up for this life… I did.

It’s unfair for me to blame you when I’m feeling lonely and homesick. I know that it’s not your choice to have your family separated, yet, you deal with it. You put up with all of the distance because you love me. I am so incredibly lucky that you love me and I haven’t been treating that love as the precious gift that I should. I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you more than I could ever put into words, so I decided the best thing for me to do was to email you. I was scared to tell you this in person because I was worried if you answered the phone, you’d look at me with such disappointment and I’d start crying before I could tell you how much you mean to me. So I’m writing you this email. I also wanted to have this down so that any time you’re feeling stressed, lonely, or you loose confidence in yourself, you can pull this up and know that there is nobody else in the world that I admire and look up to more than you.

You are the strongest man I’ve ever met. You are such a powerful force of good in this world and I’m never quite sure how I got lucky enough to have you in my life. I’m just incredibly grateful that my daughters have you to raise them. They aren’t always easy, I know that. But they are still incredibly perfect and they wouldn’t be half as perfect if they didn’t have you in their lives.

I hope I’ve never done anything to make you feel inferior. If I have, I’m terribly sorry. I don’t know why I pick fights with you, but I can tell you that it makes me just as miserable. I hate not going to bed with you every night. I hate not waking up to your soft breath on my ear. Sometimes, I just want to quit everything and just come home so that I can be in your arms forever. Then I remember that Blaine Anderson never quit anything. He learned to play the violin when he was a kid and his music teachers tried to tell his parents it couldn’t be done. He kept going when bullies told him he was worthless, and became one of the most important role models in the Deaf community. He fought to get into NYU and he fought tooth and nail to pass every single class against insurmountable odds. But he did it. My beautiful husband is a fighter and can survive anything, so if he hasn’t quit, then I can’t.

You’re my role model. You’re my rock. I know that might be a lot of pressure to put on you, but you should know that you don’t ever have to do or be anything but yourself, and I’ll still look up to you. I respect you so much and can’t believe that I have ever treated you with anything but the upmost kindness you deserve.

I’m sorry. I’m an ass and you deserve so much better from me, but I do love you. No matter what I might say, no matter what my actions covey, know that truth. Carry that love with you. I will spend the rest of my life loving you, and that is the most precious gift anyone could have ever given me.

I’m sorry for getting mad at you for taking the girls to Florida. I was just jealous of all the fun things you get to do with our children while I’m stuck at work. But they shouldn’t miss out on great opportunities like this simply because I can’t be there. I hope you have fun. I know the girls will have fun. I fully expect you to send me every single embarrassing photo and video that you take. I want to know everything the girls say. Knowing that you guys are at Disney and having the time of your lives will help me get through the 18 hour day I have tomorrow. I’ve already sent Sebastian a text that he’d better be extra helpful tomorrow instead of sneaking off with his boyfriend, since three kids alone is a lot for any day, let alone at Disney World. I’m glad that he’s there with you, if I couldn’t be.

My schedule is insane the next few days and I don’t want to pull the girls away from anything exciting, so I’ll just call you all on Saturday once you’re back home. Does 4pm your time work? Will you be back from the airport by then?

I love you! I love you! I love you! I don’t say it enough, but I love you.

Your most faithful husband,

Kurt

Blaine reads the letter several times before he is able to believe that it’s real and not just an illusion. He looks at the clock and does the mental math before logging into iCloud to take a look at Kurt’s calendar and figure out if he’s even home. He’s not. He has an award show tonight, which means that his phone will be off. So Blaine opens Glide on his phone and records a video message for Kurt to see once he’s got some time to check his messages.

I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER. WE’RE BOTH A LITTLE LOST WITHOUT ONE ANOTHER AND TAKING IT OUT ON EACH OTHER, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART. MEI ASKED ME TODAY IF I WAS SAD BECAUSE WE WERE GETTING A DIVORCE, AND THAT THREW ME OFF.

I NEVER WANT TO GET A DIVORCE. I NEVER WANT TO SAY GOODBYE. YOU’RE IT FOR ME AND I PRAY THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE IT FOR YOU.

FEARLESSLY AND FOREVER, RIGHT?

He plugs his phone in to charge and sets the alarm, then decides to call it an early night. It’s been an exhausting day and he knows that the girls will be up early in the morning with how excited they are to go to Magic Kingdom tomorrow.

****

The next morning, just as he expected, the girls wake him up before his alarm can. Maddy jumps on his chest, somewhat painfully, while Mei yanks on his arm in an attempt to get him out of bed. Li is still in her bed, but is bouncing around excitedly, repeatedly signing DISNEY!

OKAY, OKAY, he signs, rolling out of bed and playfully dragging Maddy with him until she’s doubled over with laughter.

WHO’S READY TO GO TO DISNEY WORLD? he asks, causing all of the girls to excitedly sign ME!

He helps them get ready one at a time, starting with Mei. He brushes through the knots in her hair and helps her paint her face. It was a compromise they’d both come to when Mei had wanted to wear the Iron Man mask but Blaine knew how important the face is when signing and didn’t want hers to be covered for the entirety of the day.

DO YOU LIKE IT? Blaine asks, holding a mirror in front of her face.

AWESOME! she signs.

MADDY, CAN YOU BRING DADDY HIS PHONE? he signs, wanting to get a picture.

Maddy brings him over his phone and he is about to open up the camera app when he sees that he’s missed a Glide from Kurt.

DON’T MOVE, he tells Mei, who’s just itching to join her sisters in front of the TV. ONE SECOND.

Blaine quickly watches Kurt’s message and tries not to smile like too big of an idiot when Kurt’s sleepy face signs back to him, YOU’RE IT FOR ME, TOO. FEARLESSLY AND FOREVER.

He quickly snaps a picture of Mei and sends to Kurt, just in time to see Maddy ask Mei.

DON’T YOU THINK THE HULK WILL GET ANGRY WHEN HE SEES YOU PICKED IRON MAN AS YOUR COSTUME?

Mei’s face drops in terror as she looks to Blaine. AM I GOING TO SEE THE HULK?

YEAH, he signs. ALL OF THE AVENGERS WILL BE THERE TODAY. BUT IT’S FINE. HE WON’T GET ANGRY. Blaine had personally called in to make sure that they were still having the Avengers characters on property today in honor of the latest movie coming out soon.

Mei doesn’t look reassured. WHAT IF HE SMASHES ME?

HE WON’T SMASH YOU, Blaine signs, trying hard not to laugh. LET’S GO, MADDY, he signs.

Maddy’s costume is easier. While her hair is always a bit of a disaster, luckily, he just has to get it into a bun today so that he can run some chopsticks through it and call it a day. She’d chosen to go as Mulan for the day, telling him that she wanted to be Chinese like her sisters, and really, he couldn’t argue with that. Especially since Mulan is such a strong woman, much like he imagines Maddy will grow up to be.

I LOOK PRETTY, Maddy signs once she sees herself all dressed up. She makes Blaine take multiple pictures of her and send each one to Kurt.

Li is the most involved, because every time he puts her hair up, she makes a face at him and pulls the hair tie out.

WHAT’S WRONG? Blaine asks her after the third time it happens.

DON’T WANT HAIR, she signs, digging around in the hair accessories tote until she pulls out a red ribbon and hands it to him. SNOW WHITE NOW.

WE DON’T HAVE A SNOW WHITE COSTUME, he signs. YOU SAID YOU WANTED TIANA.

She grabs his hand and puts the red ribbon into his hand with a pointed look. SNOW WHITE, WE GET.

He knows that he shouldn’t, but he gives in and tells her they can look for a Snow White costume when they get there, but that means if the don’t have one that she’ll be the only one without a costume on.

IT’S OKAY. THEY HAVE, Li tells him, not the least bit concerned. He rolls his eyes, amused, then carefully ties the ribbon into her hair to make a red headband.

By the time they are knocking on Sebastian’s door, ready to head out for the day, enough time has passed for it to be a decent hour. They all hop on a bus and make their way to Magic Kingdom where they are supposed to be meeting the cameraman they hired for the special Deaf in the City episode.

‘The girls look great! Have fun!’ Kurt texts him while they are on the Monorail and Sebastian nosily reads over his shoulder.

SO THINGS ARE GOOD AGAIN? Sebastian asks.

I’M NOT SURE IF THEY ARE GOOD YET, he signs. THEY ARE BETTER. GOOD WILL COME WHEN HE’S BACK HOME AGAIN.

Sebastian doesn’t get the chance to respond because they are both pulled back to reality as the girls start climbing over each other to get a better look at the castle, which has just come into their range of vision

IT’S BEAUTIFUL, Li signs.

I WANT TO LIVE THERE, Maddy signs.

THE GIRL KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS, Carter signs, making them all laugh.

They meet Taylor, a deaf cameraman that Purple has hired for them so that they can film the episode without having to worry about one of them having to spend the day behind the camera. They do some quick introductions and give some instructions on the types of shots that they want, but it doesn’t last long as the girls are eager to get inside and not patient enough to be kept waiting.

They make their way to Guest Services so that they can check out some captioning equipment for the day. As Blaine waits in line, Sebastian steals a cast member to get a quick interview of what kind of accommodations are available throughout the Disney property for people with hearing loss. Carter thankfully is able to interpret the whole thing. Once they have the necessary devices stored away in their bags and they’ve checked out a stroller for Maddy and Li, they make their way over to the Crystal Palace for breakfast.

Sebastian works out their reservations with the hostess, while Blaine does his best to keep the girls from running over to tackle Tigger.

HE’LL COME TO OUR TABLE, BUT WE HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND EAT FIRST, Blaine tells them.

TIGGER AND PIGLET! Li signs, wearing the biggest smile on her face.

YEAH, ALL OF POOH’S FRIENDS ARE HERE, Blaine explains.

ALL OF THEM? WOW! Maddy signs, then turns to the camera and signs, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?

Carter and Blaine crack up laughing.

IT’S LIKE OFFICE-STYLE, Carter signs.

I THINK SHE’S SEEN KURT AND I WORKING TOO MUCH, he signs with a loving roll of his eyes. If any of their kids are going to follow in Kurt’s footsteps and become an actress, it’s going to be Maddy.

They continue to laugh as they are brought to their table. The hostess quickly explains how he character dining works, but doesn’t look at any of them when she does so they miss whatever she says and have to have it interpreted by Carter once she leaves. Sebastian quickly makes a note of it on his pad of paper so that they remember to talk about it in the quick review they film once the meal is over. Then, they each take a kid to the buffet and help them get their plate, something that would have taken forever for Blaine to do all by himself. It’s impossible to carry Li and also balance 4 plates and they are sitting too far away from the buffet for Blaine to feel comfortable leaving the girls at the table while he went alone.

As soon as they sit down, the first character comes to them and Li, who’d been so excited to see Piglet from a distance, suddenly gets scared and tries to burrow into Blaine’s side. Mei and Maddy both give Piglet a huge hug and pose for a picture with him, before he leaves. Then they go back to eating. The same thing happens two more times with Pooh and Eeyore. However, when Tigger makes his way over next, Blaine could never have guessed what was about to happen.

IT’S TIGGER, Mei signs, standing up to give him a hug.

When she pulls away, Tigger looks down at her and signs, HELLO. HOW ARE YOU.

They all perk up in their seats and Taylor quickly reaches for the camera to turn it on and start rolling.

YOU KNOW SIGN? Maddy asks, standing up on her chair to peer into his ears. ARE YOU DEAF?

Tigger shakes his head, no.

DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? Blaine asks Sebastian and Carter, who both shake their heads.

HOW DO YOU KNOW SIGN? Mei asks him.

I LEARNED, Tigger signs and Li sits up in her spot on Blaine’s lap and starts hitting his leg to get his attention, her eyes glued to Tigger. She then starts pulling on his pants to try and get him to stand up. He picks her up and they walk to the other side of the table so that Li is close enough to touch.

I LEARNED SIGN, TOO, Maddy tells him. MY FAMILY IS DEAF.

COOL, Tigger signs and it’s a bit rough without any fingers, but the can all understand him easily enough.

WHY DON’T YOUR FRIENDS SIGN? Mei asks as Li reaches out to start petting Tigger’s arm.

I DON’T KNOW, Tigger says. WE SHOULD TEACH THEM.

YES! all three girls sign at once.

Li pats Tigger on the shoulder to get his attention and when he looks at her she signs, HUG?

Tigger opens up his arms and Li falls into them easily. More easily than she’s ever approached a stranger before. Maddy and Mei jump out of their seats to hug Tigger’s legs. Blaine can’t help but look on, almost near tears. Who would have ever thought that they would just happen to run into the one character that knows sign language?

Blaine can see Carter out of the corner of his eye taking tons of pictures, while Sebastian just looks on with a huge smile on his face.

YOU’RE MY FAVORITE, Li signs once she pulls away.

YOU ALL ARE MY FAVORITE, Tigger signs, pointing all all three of the girls.

The character attendant comes to pull Tigger away and remind him that he has other tables to visit. Blaine is careful to sign THANK YOU and makes a mental note to send a thank you card to the restaurant when they get home for providing such a special moment for his kids.

TIGGER KNOWS SIGN! Maddy signs. HE’S HEARING AND HE KNOWS SIGN!

THAT’S BECAUSE SIGNING IS COOL, Sebastian informs her. IF YOU KNOW SIGN AND THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT USE IT, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS SIGN AROUND THEM, RIGHT?

RIGHT. I’M ALWAYS GOING TO SIGN NOW, she signs, before turning back to finish the last bite of bacon on her plate.

Blaine sends him a grateful smile and Sebastian winks back at him.

OF COURSE I SAY THAT ALL THE TIME, BUT WHEN TIGGER SIGNS SUDDENLY SHE WANTS TO, Blaine signs, pretending to be upset.

SHE’S ALSO THREE, he signs. OF COURSE EVERYTHING IS BETTER WHEN TIGGER DOES IT.

The rest of the day at the park is fun and thankfully, relatively drama-free. They run into a few people from the Deaf community that recognize them and want some pictures, but that’s about it. By the time they find seats along the sidewalk for the parade, Li and Maddy are both passed out in their stroller and Mei is starting to drag her feet as well. Blaine sits her down in Carter’s lap with a bag of popcorn and some water, then heads off to film a quick review with Sebastian so that they can get the final shots they need for the episode and Taylor can head home for the day. It takes them only twenty minutes to get everything they need, but by that time the parade is already over.

They walk back over and find Carter sitting at a bench with Mei sleepily telling Carter about the signing Tigger, something Blaine’s sure he is going to hear about for the next several weeks.

THINK IT’S ABOUT TIME TO HEAD BACK TO THE HOTEL? Blaine asks.

I WANT TO SEE THE FIREWORKS, Mei signs, giving him a pleading look.

I’M NOT SURE YOUR SISTERS CAN LAST THAT LONG, Blaine signs. I’M NOT SURE YOU CAN LAST THAT LONG.

WHY DON’T WE GO BACK HOME AND YOU CAN TAKE A QUICK NAP, AND IF YOU’RE STILL UP FOR IT, YOUR DAD CAN BRING YOU BACK LATER ON TONIGHT, Sebastian asks.

Blaine gives him a questioning look, he’s not about to come back with the girls at 6pm.

WE’LL WATCH MADDY AND LI, MEI CAN STAY UP LATE THIS ONCE, Sebastian tells him. IT’LL BE GOOD FOR THE TWO OF YOU TO SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER ONE ON ONE.

Blaine agrees, but only if Mei promises that she will take a nap when they get home so that she doesn’t fall asleep when they come back. Mei agrees and they all make their way back out to the Monorail.

CAN WE TRY TO CALL PAPA? Mei asks him later on that night as they are headed back to Magic Kingdom for the night. Sebastian has assured him that Maddy and Li will be fine, and while he knows that’s true, he still feels weird going out with only one of his kids. He’s never really done something like this before, hung out with just one of his girls; at least, not for anything that wasn’t essential like a doctor’s appointment or something. It’s nice. He gets to see a different side of Mei when she’s not always looking over her shoulder suspiciously at her sisters to see what they will try to break next.

I THINK HE’S AT WORK, Blaine tells her.

CAN WE TRY? she asks again and he nods. They wait until they are off the Monorail and have a strong signal before they call Kurt.

Blaine’s surprised to see Kurt’s face when the call picks up, he’s gotten so used to seeing his assistant whenever he calls.

HI! Kurt signs, happily. He looks a little tired under all the stage makeup, nothing noticeable on camera, but to anyone that knows him, it’s clear.

PAPA! I’M AT DISNEY WORLD! Mei signs to him, excitedly.

I KNOW! YOUR DADDY HAS BEEN SENDING ME PICTURES, Kurt tells her, his eyes landing on Blaine and giving him a warm smile.

TIGGER KNOWS SIGN LANGUAGE, Mei tells him, almost dropping Blaine’s phone in the process. He takes the phone from her and leads them both over to a bench where they can sit and Blaine can hold the phone for her.

HE KNOWS SIGN? Kurt asks, feigning ignorance, like Carter hadn’t sent him fifteen pictures and a short video.

YEAH! AND HE’S NOT EVEN DEAF, she signs. HE JUST KNOWS IT. LIKE YOU! she explains.

WELL THAT’S COOL, he tells her. LISTEN BABY, I’VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK, BUT I’M SO HAPPY THAT I GOT TO SEE YOU AND SAY HELLO. WHERE ARE YOUR SISTERS?

THEY ARE AT HOME WITH UNCLE SEBASTIAN AND CARTER, she explains. DADDY AND I ARE HAVING A SPECIAL DATE.

WELL THEN YOU’RE THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD, Kurt signs. YOUR DAD IS AN EXCELLENT DATE.

I KNOW, she signs with a roll of her eyes. YOU CAN TALK TO DADDY NOW AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM.

OKAY, Kurt signs, and Blaine laughs at the way Mei playfully ducks out from under him and then watches on, as if to say, “well, go on and make up.”

I THINK MEI IS PULLING A PARENT TRAP ON US, Blaine signs, with a laugh.

WELL THANKFULLY WE DON’T NEED OUR CHILDREN TO GET US BACK TOGETHER, BECAUSE WE AREN’T BREAKING UP, he signs, with a loving smile.

THANK GOD FOR THAT, Blaine signs.

I’M SORRY IF I MADE YOU THINK I WOULD EVER CONSIDER THAT, he signs. I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU, TOO, Blaine tells him.

I REALLY DO HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK, he signs.

RIGHT, Blaine nods, but finds he isn’t ready to say goodbye.

IT’S REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOUR FACE, Kurt confesses. I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

I MISS YOU, TOO, he signs. I’M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL YOU CAN COME HOME AGAIN.

I’M BRIBING EVERYONE I CAN TO MAKE IT HAPPEN SOONER, Kurt signs. SHORT OF RESORTING TO SEXUAL FAVORS, I’M NOT SURE IT’S POSSIBLE.

I GUESS THAT’S WHY THEY INVENTED VIDEO PHONES, he signs.

IS MEI WATCHING? Kurt asks, and he shakes his head. She’s busy chasing a squirrel around. WELL, I CAN’T HAVE SEX WITH A VIDEO PHONE, CAN I?

Blaine blushes and quickly looks around to make sure that nobody is looking in on their conversations as sometimes happens when they sign in public and some curious college student in ASL classes watches them.

MAYBE NOT, he signs. BUT I CAN THINK OF SOME CREATIVE WAYS TO HELP RELIEVE THE TENSION. THERE IS A VIDEO PHONE IN THE BEDROOM FOR A REASON.

DON’T TEASE ME, Kurt signs. YOU’RE NOT EVEN HOME FOR ANOTHER TWO DAYS.

Blaine laughs at that, but then Kurt’s being pulled away to set and they are forced to say goodbye to each other.

I LIKE WHEN YOU SMILE, Mei signs to him, once his phone is stowed away in his pocket and they are headed into the park.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT ME, he tells her. I’M OKAY.

I KNOW, YOU JUST MISS PAPA, Mei signs. I MISS PAPA, TOO. IT’S OKAY TO BE SAD THAT HE’S GONE. HE’LL BE BACK.

He knows those words. He’s said those words to his children enough times when they are crying because they miss their papa. He just never expected to have them directed back at him.

THANKS, he smiles at her.

****

HummelAnderson4Life posted:

Blaine just updated his channel with a new video that I think you all really need to see. The link can be found here. For those of you who don’t sign, I’m including the English translation below.

Video Title: You Are Enough

“Hello, everyone. I’ve been getting a lot of questions about our trip to Florida. I’ll be posting a blog soon about Sebastian and my crazy Expo experience as well as a second blog about the girls’ first trip to Disney World. However, there’s something more pressing that I wanted to share with you all.

You are enough. A good friend of mine told me this recently and it’s really resonated with me. I think that we spend a lot of time telling ourselves that we are okay. That we are strong enough to endure our struggles. That we just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. We hide our pain because we don’t want others to be burdened by it. And that causes a great deal of stress for us. It can tear at our self-esteem. Each time we smile and tell somebody we are fine when we aren’t, we chip away at our confidence. We wonder why we aren’t okay. We wonder how everyone else makes it look so easy? Why the journey isn’t easier? Why the world seems to be conspiring against us? We start to think maybe we just aren’t good enough.

You are enough. I am enough. We are all enough. We need to stop telling ourselves that we aren’t worthy. We need to stop lying and saying that there is somebody better for the job. There is nobody better at living your life than you. We need to stop comparing ourselves to other people and assuming that we’re worse off. That other people have it so easy. It’s not true. We all might look shiny and happy on the outside, but inside, we are all just little kids playing at being adults. We are all just guessing at what the next move is and praying it works out. Some people are just better at hiding their pain behind a lie than others.

You are enough. You are good enough for your parents. You are good enough for your friends. You are good enough for your children. Whatever that nagging voice inside of your head might be saying, don’t ever loose sight of the fact that this world is full of hurt people who hurt people. Don’t let their pain and anger make you doubt yourself. Don’t let your own demons make you doubt yourself.

Stand tall. Be proud of who you are. Never stop striving to better yourself, but don’t beat yourself up over your lack of progress, either. Who you are right now, in this very moment? You are enough.”


End file.
